I simply can’t resist passing this on to you. Obviously I cannot reveal my sources, except to say it was NOT from any office I have ever had a connection with. Because that would just be ridiculous, wouldn’t it?No, never ever – not in a million. Nope. Definitely n-o-t.
Anyway, read and enjoy. Oh yes, and possibly snigger, too:
‘CHECKLIST FOR DEALING WITH A TELEPHONE BOMB THREAT
Immediately alert the person responsible for security or your manager, but DO NOT PUT DOWN THE HANDSET OR CUT OFF THE CONVERSATION. Obtain as much information as you can. Complete this form as you go along.
Time of call……………………………………………………………………………
Message (write down the exact words)………………………………………………
Code Words………………………………………………………………………….
What time will it go off……………….. What does it look like…………………….
What type of bomb is it……………………………………………………………..
Why are you doing this……………………………………………………………..
DETAILS OF CALLER:
Man Old
Woman Young
SPEECH:
Intoxicated Laughing
Rational Serious
Rambling Message Read
Impediment Spontaneous
Accent (specify) ……………………. Disguised
OTHER NOISES:
Traffic Railway Station
Talking Music
Typing Children
Machinery Other
Aircraft
As soon as the call has finished, give this form to the person responsible for security or your manager, who will decide what to do.’
Don’t you just love it? Particularly the bit at the end, where you put your life into the hands of your manager and wait calmly for him or her to save your life.
Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the traditional way of dealing with a bomb threat. You shout, ‘OMG, it’s a bomb,’ and then you run as fast as your Boden kitten heels will let you. Good luck, everyone!