One man’s meat …

Worrying news this morning that 20 per cent of meat is going to kill you. Or that if you eat red meat more than three times a week your legs will explode. Or that hotdogs are the devil’s work (didn’t we know that one already?)

I have since got the results back from my own survey, which, I can reveal, says that 95 per cent of surveys will worry the bejeezus out of you. The other 5 per cent refer to stuff you don’t do, so you don’t have to worry about them. They’ll be terrifying someone else.

Seriously, the survey said if you eat red meat more than three times a week, you’re in trouble. Unfortunately, red meat includes stuff like sausages and bacon, which are the only things some members of this household will touch. Altogether, it’s a big headache. As if feeding six people who seem to have taken a vow never to like the same stuff at the same time is not enough of a challenge.

Okay, so it’s chicken and fish from now on. Anyone got any good recipes? Meanwhile, we’ll have to empty the fridge of the potentially lethal stuff I bought in happy, pre-survey ignorance just yesterday. And guess what’s on the menu tonight? Yep. Sausages. Wrapped in bacon. Naturally.

Piggies in blankets, or as I now think of them, cold-blooded assassins

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