Ten things not to do while moving house

Ten things not to do while moving house

1. Lose track of the wet washing that was in the washing machine

2. Ask the movers to store 60 boxes of kitchen stuff in the garage until the kitchen is constructed some time in May. Then realise that somewhere in those boxes is the wet washing.

3. …..and Mr X’s front door keys

4. …..and possibly the contents of the freezer. Well, you think they might be in the garage. But you’re not really sure. A helpful fairy may have stacked everything neatly in the freezer which is already downstairs in the wrecked kitchen, which is waiting to be refitted in May.

5 ……but when you check the freezer in the wrecked kitchen, it is empty. Which means the other freezer’s contents are somewhere in the garage. Possibly having a party with the wet washing.

6. On the bright side, the wet washing is probably dry by now.

7. Admittedly, the possibilities that the wet washing is also ironed are slim. Incredibly slim.

8. Of course, Child Two’s favourite trousers turn out to have been in the wet washing. No outfit works without them, obviously. For a moment, you contemplate simply buying her a new pair, as that is easier than venturing into the garage, with the 60 mysterious boxes looming in the half light.

9. You steel yourself to go into the garage. The 60 boxes are still there, and still  not giving up their secrets. The removal men, who were a delight, did write what was in each box. But they were not terribly forthcoming. In fact,on closer inspection, all 60 boxes say ‘kitchen’ on them.

10. While you are in the garage, you notice an aroma. Is it wet washing? Is it the gently melting freezer contents? You tiptoe away. Sometimes it’s just best not to know.

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