I’ve just discovered a blog by someone called Dulwichmum, who claims to spend every penny on school fees, then idly mentions that she ripped out and re-did her entire kitchen, because she was worried her mother-in-law would think her mint green Smeg fridge was naff.

Deep sigh. I would so love a mint green Smeg fridge.

But, on the bright side, I don’t have a mother-in-law.

That’s because I’m getting divorced and shedding relatives, I’ve discovered, is just about the only perk.

On the downside, there isn’t any money for fridges these days, as two very greedy sets of lawyers are gobbling the lot. I could have bought five – count em, five – Smeg fridges so far with the money thrown away on legal fees. Just think, a lovely line of pastel-tinted fridges, in misty blue, dusky pink, Easter-chick yellow as well as minty green and the adorable shocking pink I saw the other day in John Lewis.

Yes, I’m afraid your suspicions are right. This is another middle-class whingey blog. You had high hopes, didn’t you, that there’d be a bit of gritty social realism in this one, when I started off having a go at lovely Dulwichmum, who I probably pass every day ferrying my little dears to the very same schools her children are at. But no, I’m afraid my beef is that I used to have her life, but have somehow, unaccountably pushed myself out of it, just by losing a husband. A little saying about babies and bathwater does sometimes spring to mind.

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