Duck and cover

Say what you like about Piers Morgan (and people have and do) but he is performing quite a useful function in the States. His quest to do something about the sheer craziness of gun laws is getting right up people’s noses.

Where would the US be without us to do their dirty work for them? No Hollywood blockbuster is complete these days without a Brit playing the baddie. It’s partly because no American actor would dare take the part as an anti-hero – the public might forget completely that he was acting (easily done) and take him for a Real Life bad guy. And the other reason is that the US still hates us quite a bit. The first settlers flounced off to the States in their boats because we didn’t agree with them, and they’re still miffed that we haven’t entirely come round yet.

Rather like a bunch of mimsy actors, politicians in America, all the way up to the President, know that something must be done about gun ownership but are too chicken to get on with it. They’re afraid of all the folk in the gun clubs who have automatics in their cars and every room in their houses. And quite rightly so – these people are none too coherent, and they have an awful lot of weapons.

So in steps Piers Morgan. As his wife says, ‘behind the bravado, there’s more bravado.’ He’s the perfect person to crash this party and not only point out the elephant in the room, but feed it buns. He seems to be loving every second of his new notoriety in the US, and long may he enjoy it. His attitude reminds me a lot of a cartoon I once saw by Larson. It features two stags standing next to each other, one with a large target on its chest. Its friend says to it, ‘bummer of a birth mark.’ Good luck, Piers. I hope you’ve learned to duck.

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