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Nom nom nom nom. Oh, sorry – you’ve caught me salivating over Waitrose’s website. They’ve asked me to tell you all about their Christmas party food and mmmm, it looks good.
It’s not just effortless little bits and bobs that you can safely pop into the oven, knowing they’ll come out looking and tasting delicious. More importantly, the final result is rustic enough, just, for you to get away with pretending you’ve made the lot if someone is annoying enough to ask you. Why do people do that, incidentally? Usually, if I’ve made something from scratch myself, I shout from the rooftops about it. If I say nothing but glide about with a plate of delicious-looking morsels and a mysterious smile, then DON’T ASK.
Waitrose’s little morsels range from teensy chipolata sausages wrapped in bacon – spectacularly moreish – to Heston Blumenthal’s wee chicken pies, all emblazoned with a pastry H. Incidentally, Heston seems to have become one of those people, like Madonna and Adele, who just don’t have dull old surnames weighing them down any more. Nowhere on the Waitrose site could I find the correct spelling of Blumenthal, so it’s only thanks to my dogged research that I’ve avoided accidentally renaming him Heston Blue mental.
I do love the Waitrose Christmas party video on the website. It’s all so decorous and charmingly good-tempered. I suppose I would have a joyfully expectant expression, too, if I were waiting for Waitrose’s finest canapes to drop into my open mouth. Unfortunately, my parties at home don’t always turn out to be so relaxing. Last time, I bought a trillion mince pies, on the grounds that it was still November so people wouldn’t be sick of them. We were eating them till February. The mulled wine burned to a cinder, as I forgot to stop mulling it. And TL and I had a row – obviously.
This year, I’m going to do it the sensible way, and get everything from Waitrose. So there’ll be no leftovers, I’ll be so serene I’ll be impossible to argue with, and we’ll save money too. It’s three for two on all Waitrose’s chilled party food, in store and online, right up until 31st December. Nom nom.
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