Go on, admit it. You’ve always suspected that the Scary School Secretary, who rules the head teacher, the pupils and the parents with a rod of iron, was about to snap. She sits there all day long, in her dust-coloured cardi, answering the phone in a pinched, hyper-polite voice as though she was a millimetre away from going banana-loopy-doodahs. Well, now she has finally lost it, and this is what it sounds like:
vwwafvmamdb;das/bm./asdbmdmbmdbmdsbmadmbm,adfb,.
dsbsdbsdbjnsdbjsdbdb
Actually, it’s a recording from a school in Australia that a lovely friend sent me. It’s supposed to be genuine. I sort of hope it is!