Finally! A moment to myself when neither Child One nor Child Two is MSN-ing, playing the SIMS or checking their endless emails, which are mostly chain letters which anyone over the age of 12 would delete. It’s not that they’re on the computer all the time – no, mostly we’re out having good, clean, honest holiday fun – but when we’re all in the house together, everybody wants to be on the computer at the very same moment.

A lot of people would say to themselves that the time had come to invest in a second computer. These people, however, have probably not just had their paying careers wrecked by their ex-husband. I don’t think I could afford a spare set of Scrabble letters at the moment, so a laptop? Ha! No chance. Plus I feel it must be like the motorways argument – if you build more roads, you get more cars. If we had more computers, there would be more grumpy children hunched over strange virtual reality games which seem to consist of tidying up houses – why they can’t do this for real in lovely Divorce Towers beats me.

Arg! I hear the stampede of tiny feet coming down the stairs. Time for another airing in the park, followed by playing for them and a coffee with a Mummy for me. It’s all lovely, but what I wouldn’t give for a bit of silent contemplation in front of my beloved screen, rather than yet more anguished debate on school fees (up, up and away) and house prices (down, down, deedle-um down). See you soon – I hope.

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