The most gripping radio broadcast since the Abdication

It’s a terrible thing to say, and I’m not a violent person, but it’s such a relief that Helen has finally stabbed Rob. Apologies if that’s ruined your enjoyment of the Archers Omnibus on Sunday, but come on, surely everyone knows what happened in the Blossom Cottage kitchen by now.

Rob, who is now hovering between life and death with his terrifyingly loathsome parents at his bedside – a compelling incentive never to wake up, surely – gave Helen the knife and urged her to kill herself. If he hadn’t then turned on her five-year-old son, Henry, then maybe she would have done.

As it is, in the most gripping radio broadcast since the Abdication, she stabbed him three times and has now left him needing a colostomy bag. It’s the absolute perfect come-uppance for this evil, manipulative tyrant, who has spent two years – two whole years – convincing Helen that she is mentally unstable, an unfit mother and fit only to be raped and abused. I didn’t know what the term ‘gaslighting’ meant – now I do.

I wish we didn’t have to go through the whole inevitable investigation, trial and probable incarceration of poor Helen. Hasn’t she suffered enough? And haven’t we? And was I the only person sorely disappointed that Rob was still alive? Meanwhile, the Helen Titchener rescue fund set up by listener Paul Trueman is now raising money to keep the Blossom One free (and help real women in fictional Helen’s position)

I’ve completely given up listening to the Archers as my bedtime story. And I suspect we will all soon be a little tired of the preachy tone of some parts of the BBC as it points people towards counselling services. But this is a cast-iron case of a good story illustrating a horrible truth about the world, bringing it to a new audience, and lifting the rock that horrors like Rob lurk under.

The Archers: Rob gets his come-uppance at long last
The Archers: Rob gets his come-uppance at long last

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